PIP Panic

The day after I posted my last blog I got a letter from the people from PIP saying they want me to come in for an assessment. This is meant to be the last step if the person doesn't say that I need some help to be completely independent all the work will have been for nothing, although I know I can appeal, but it shouldn't come to that. So I have to show how bad my tics, my scratching and my anxiety are just so people understand. This is just annoying I have to set everything off and hurt my self just so someone can see. I think the assessment is around 30 mins to 1 hour.  So I have to handle a new place, a new environment, new people and I don't even know how people can handle me. I am so used to people thinking that if I tic too much that I am having a seizure of some kind. If I say something out of the blue like I'm a hamster or Pikachu.  People look at me oddly and I have to show all of this because someone doesn't believe you. I have enough of this just going through town or trying to help other people. Then next year I can apply for my blue badge then I have to do that all over again. Most autistics can't lie, so without putting us through two or three layers of torture, which could be over in weeks or months. Isn't there a way of making it easier to test people without causing this much harm. There have to be people lower or higher than me who suffer from really bad self-harm, does that mean they must show all their scars or harm in front of them? In pure logical form they would, but this isn't a pure logic world.
Saying this I don't know what is causing this but, I have been phasing more and more it like things are at a certain point. It most likely just me, but I can see me worrying about this PIP test just for it not to exist or for the person to disappear. Then I would have to wait... again.  I went to my lecture yesterday and I understood everything although that had to make it hard by giving me four different lecturers for three topics. It seems a little silly to me. 

Anyway, that's all from me. Thank you for reading this. Hopefully, I will get the Atypical season 2 stuff done but it is around the time of my PIP test so it may be a little late. If you like this please subscribe, like and share it with other people. If you want to click here for the last blog post.

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