System Booting Bugs (A Little Rant)

This is one I really wanted to talk about but I wanted to research it first, there is literally nothing on it and yet me and some of my friends deal with this. It has no name- or at least one I can find.  I call it a one day depression. This happens roughly after a meltdown for a day or the day after a meltdown. To me it drops my mood slightly, I also feel more anxious and that affects other things which may or may not start another meltdown. If that happens then  more and more meltdown happen, so sleep is the best answer and start from where we can process. If it isn't going in a vicious circle, then you just feel down, more anxious like I have already said. I also shut people off and don't want to talk. So it  is like going back to a basic mode where everybody looks at you where they know something is wrong with you, what isn't nice but you can't do anything. I'm lucky that I adapt to situations and can mimic personalities so people don't know what happens 'under the mask'.

There are some other issues what this brings but I will save that for another blog. I know what at least some are thinking "this sounds quite dangerous or harmful". Although yes it does. This is autism. Its wild, unpredictable and unknown. Everyday could be the same or completely different. There must be a reason why no one hasn't looked into it. I'm guessing that everyone looks at people with autism and sees meltdowns and the negative side of us and prejudges that is our lives. I could be completely wrong- I hope I am. The only reason I think like that at all is because this is how we were partly taught in college and people like working with people with autism because "it's a challenge" or "because they seem special really".

To be a bit mean, yes it is a challenge, but try being in that world. Try for say 30 minuets look at everybody you see in that time and guess their body language, if you can trust them and guess every meaning the person is saying wether it be  sarcasm, really happy, sad or no meaning what so ever. On top of that you can't use any form of senseability like understanding how roads work and how dangerous life in general is. Then can't go near too much light, can't go near any noise above speaking level (to make things a bit easier) and can't feel attached to anything apart from the one thing you understand the best (if you work with people then one thing eletronic). To me I understand science and mathmatics and from there I have to put everything I know from the two subjects in to understanding all this. One of my friends has to deal with lanuages and music so it can be harder to inturpert things that aren't governed by this 'specialty'.  Now to try and end this NONE of us are special. Lots of us have gifts which mean we are more suited to that one or two things. If eveyone on the spectrum refered to 'normal' people as neurotypical and anyone who was slower then them at their speciality, take mine- sub-atomic quantum astro and sub-atomic quantum nuclear physics, as subneurotypical (subnormal) it isn't nice. So why call somone special? You might feel like your trying to be nice or PC but its the meaning behind it. "Special" was a shorten term of Special needs. I agree most of us are, but not all. This is boxing or labeling people are its been stopped for people in wheelchair- to a point, but not for any hidden needs. Like I say try living in our world first. If you think it is easy. Then take away any speaking and limit your listening thrushold, so down to someone wisphering, be nonverbal so you have to use touch and pictures for everything.