A Sensory Life (Why I Don't Like Hugs)

Autism can be a confusing thing- this is coming from who is on the spectrum.  Hopefully I will be talking about how our senses help us see the world. This will be just my My view as everyone varies, you never get the two people exactly on the same spectrum. 

Lets start from the ears.😃

Hearing:  Most of my hearing is through the little bones in my ears and  the edge of my jaw because I'm partly deaf so I don't rely on hearing so much more feeling. So things like tones, like sarcasm get a little lost if im not listening, or can't be bothered hearing. From this i have learnt to a point to 'turn off' so much of my hearing  so everything sounds flatter. Although nature has a really sense of humour because I'm hypersensitve to noise, most people with autism are, so because i can't really hear everytime I do it hurts.

Sight:  My sight is... okay. I'm clumsy so run in to walls- yep into walls willingly...ish. I trip anything that is near my feet, including my feet and air. Where most people see black and white in the corner of your eye, I see in full colour. I also have a quite wide peripheral vision so I have to process a lot. Again there are issues. I'm very light sensitive, well very senitive too all light but mainly whitelight [and sunlight], what is use pretty much everywhere so people can see. To point out how sensitive I am if there is no light around my house at midnight. I can get out of bed walk down the stairs open two doors (unlock one of them) find a cup and make myself pretty much any drink with no lighting, well besides any star or moonlight.

Taste: This one is intresting, well it is to me, I have fine tastes. This is kinda where i get my nickname of Gecko is because if i could smell something odd I stick my tougue out, just enough to taste- something I use more on the water as there is a lot going on whilst I'm paddling. This helps me sense of world as I have lots of nose bleeds usually all I can smell is blood, tissue paper or really strong smells, so it helps.🙃

Smell: Let's just say it's bad, everything around is really strong so things like perfume or deodorant, I don't smell I can physically taste them. If anyone is wondering they taste like bones being melted for glue or burnt magnesium. I can usally find about two smells on most things. So things like soap, shampoo and sometimes toothpaste.

Touch: Ahhh... My favoutite till last 😉,  it's sarcasm if anyone didn't know already. I hate being touched, it feels like blunt razor blades or rough sandpaper scrapping against my skin, I usually cower away from being touch apart from on my finger tips. This is usally how I figure out the world and realaity I am in because I feel across most thing if I walk to work/university  because I remember better through touch than just memory. Partly becuase of this I use gloves also, it stops people touching you so it's a bonus. I usually always wear them only at special event do I not use them. The gloves protect my hands so I can do most thing everyone will do with out thinking about. For example shaking someones hand, tapping someone to get their attention, touching your own face, holding your phone or tablet, typing on a keyboard. Most people should realise that one thing isn't their... hugging. In short I don't hug, instead what I do is touch fingertips (thumb, first finger and second finger) with the the other persons, if it has any emotion to it (which isn't often, really it isn't) then it is pressed flat against theirs rather the just touching. This catches people out everytime because everyone just hugs.

The issue I have with hugs is that it combines at least three of these things; sight, touch and smell. I can cope with two at a time any more then it just get confusing, as I can't twitch because I will hurt them, can't stick my tounge out because 'that's odd' apprently 😉 and I can't just stop processing because I might miss something.  Also it feels like I can't breathe, I think that one might be because i actually do stop breathing.

Sensory shutdown: this is a bit different from meltdowns/shut down as this to me makes the touch sense stop working so I'm just numb, the hearing is a bit dodgy it like a short connection works at time then doesn't, taste works overtime as part of what taste also helps with part of my echo-location, smell is there but only tells me what is right in front of me and sight well... I can see but what I see and what I miss are two different things as visual processing doesn't work so I rely on touch and echo-location- which only partly work. Then this can lead me into a meltdown because I am trying to compensate for everything not working. A way I found to help this is just to hang/sit upside down. I must point out I do this for fun as well. To clarify yes upsidedown, like a bat.

So that is a brief explaination of how my senses work. In short really well or not at all. 😊🙃